What happens when romanceenters the picture between two people, who are perceived as siblings by society at large. TOI explores...
Among the many unusual relationships being explored in an ongoing television show, is one of cousins being in love. Although some communities do allow marriages between cousins, it is difficult for most to imagine a romantic relationship between first cousins as they are considered siblings. However, there have been cases where romantic feelings creep in inspite of being aware of the complications. "A short-lived relationship may develop between two cousins, especially when one is on the rebound from another relationship. This happens because it is convenient and closer home," says counsellor Shyama Goswami.

"A relationship like that is just infatuation and does not usually have a definite end, unless the family is open enough to accept it. When a couple realises that their relationship is taboo, it might make them feel guilty. One must ideally step out of this relationship before other siblings or parents get to know of it; the embarrassment that follows may cause the family to fall apart," adds Goswami.

When awkwardness starts creeping in during a family gathering, this is when the couple should realise that they were better off as cousins. "Talk about it, rather than avoid the issue or behave abnormally, as this might spoil many relationships. End it gracefully. Discuss your childhood memories and try to make light of the situation, weigh them against the pleasures of a temporary relationship and you'll find the answer. Do not leave things unsaid as you'll be bumping into each other often; making a clear exit is advisable," says Goswami.

Nonetheless, some go ahead regardless of backlash or implications. Niharika Sreshtha, a PR professional recalls the time one of her aunts got married to her first cousin. "For us Bengalis, getting romantically involved with a cousin is taboo. Tuli aunty fell in love with her first cousin, and soon their families got to know of it. After several confrontations, not only did the families separate, it also led to the couple being ostracised by the community. But they were adamant and got married for which they became a part of a reformist community," says Niharika.


Medical implications

Clinical psychologist Rohini Tirodkar says that if two adults are sure about what they are getting into, there's no harm, but they should consider the medical side to it, especially with respect to having kids. "More than this, there are medical reasons why cousins or siblings are not meant to be couples. Firstly, most siblings and cousins have the same blood group. Even if their blood groups might be different, the physical components will be similar as they belong to the same family. This can cause great difficulty for the consummation of marriage, as people with similar physical components are not medically fit to bear a healthy child. There are high chances of the child being physically or mentally abnormal. That's how nature works," she concludes.


'Marrying a cousin is like marrying a friend'

"Sameer and I are first cousins," narrates Munira Ghani. "Since we've always lived in the same city, we often visited each other on alternate weekends, especially on festive occasions, birthdays or anniversaries. But things changed one day, and we got attracted to each other when in college. Fortunately, this kind of a relationship is not looked down in our circles, and we got married last year. I think, marrying your cousin is not that bad at all, since we are like friends as well as understand and treat each other well," she adds.